Just a few Suggestions
This is just a few ideas that might help make life a little easier. Based on my observation and watching television commercials. Lately, the hamburger stores are trying to one up their competitor on who can make the tallest hamburger. Not necessarily the best hamburger but the one that has the most stuff on them. Like two or three patties, lettuce, cheese, onion rings, pickles, curly fries, bacon, tomatoes and, of course, a bun. Now this concoction is about six inches high; how can a guy get his mouth over this monster and get all ingredients in one bite? Answer – he can’t. Plus, the mayo or catsup or secret sauce makes the inside slippery, and half the sandwich slides out the other end. Juices run all over your hands, and it is not unusual to use an entire napkin for each bite. In addition, if you do eat one of these behemoths, bet you can’t avoid dripping on your shirt. Wake up, America, these hamburgers are not a good idea if you are on a date. So much food, so many calories.
Recently, I traded in my dependable flip phone for a Smart phone. It has many Apps, that’s short for Applications. There is a reason they call these phones “Smart Phones.” They are smarter than we seniors. First, we should not be allowed to buy one of these phones unless it has a teenager attached. Not just any teenager, it has to be one who will teach you how to use it slow enough for us to comprehend the procedure. Have you noticed how fast their fingers fly over the keyboard? So here I am, 75 miles away from my granddaughters. I need to go to the Verizon store. Talk about fingers flying around the keyboard. Why don’t they give us a book to instruct us how to use this modern means of communication? An instruction manual with key points highlighted like, this is where you turn it on. This is what you do if you get a call. Yep, it is really a phone with things to do using Apps when no one calls you. If you want to leave a message for a friend, you can text them, but you need to hunt for the letters on a keyboard about half the size a person needs if they have grown up fingers, and you hit the wrong letter, look up what you thought was a good message and don’t recognize the words.
Lastly, I want to relate what happened last week after I finished 18 holes of golf on a windy, hot day. Walked into the family room with a cold glass of water. Turned on the television set to a golf match or a college football game. Pulled on a lever on a comfortable lounge chair that brought my legs up. I was tired and my back didn’t feel too good, but it sure was comfortable. As I settled in to watch some good golfers, that was when I noticed my dilemma. There in front of my feet about 12 inches out of reach was a bowl of M&M’s. If I wanted some of these colorful little gems, I would have to push the lever forward and get up from my comfortable lounge chair. Do I move or do I stay comfortable and do without? I wasn’t going to make my decision right that moment. I had to think about it, ruminate on the consequences. My back felt great if I stayed right where I was. But I do enjoy M&M’s, especially with a cold glass of water. To move or not to move, that is the question. So many things to ponder and so little time to decide. Next time, I’m putting the M&M’s closer.
Jeffrey Nash, now 10, was born mentally slow. He stayed in first grade two years, then struggled through second and third grades and was now in the fourth grade. His parents hoped that he could continue in public school.
For homework, Mrs. Clemente, his teacher, asked each of her 38 students to look up a word, any word that they chose, in the dictionary and write the meaning of the word to hand in the following day.
Jeffrey always had a hard time with his homework assignments. His father and mother helped him each night, but this evening they were invited out to dinner. Since his neighbor, who was babysitting, was watching television, Jeffrey sat down in his room to work on his homework alone.
“What word?” he said aloud. He thought and thought. Finally, his face lit up, and he said, “Yellow! I love yellow. It’s my favorite color.” He had learned to spell the primary colors, so he printed YELLOW on the top of his sheet of paper. But he didn’t know how to find yellow in his dictionary, so he decided to write his own definition.
“Yellow is … my mother’s smile.” He wrote, feeling quite pleased. He knew that yellow gave him a happy feeling. He wrote on.
“Yellow is Cocoa Puffs.” He smiled. Cocoa Puffs did make him feel so yellow.
“Yellow is a lick from Rascal.” He giggled to himself He was going to get a good grade this time.
“Yellow is to run as fast as Bobby.”
He had practically filled his page with large misspelled words. He stopped, looked over his paper and decided he had finished. A tingle of excitement filled him. He felt like an explorer who had just discovered a new land.
Ruby Regina Witcraft
They are so special. Not all, but there have been a couple that linger in my memory.
I met many while working at the Resource Center, but one of the dearest still can be recalled in an instant. He walked up to the counter and wished me a good morning before asking if I was married. I told him that I was, very much so, but what else could I help him with. He said that he was a lonely widower and wondered if I knew of a lady who would like to have dinner with him. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I said, “Let me think on it a minute.”
This gave me time to look him over. On his head he had a plaid golf cap, beneath which, checkered shorts and a plaid shirt that begged to have been washed several wearings ago. I reckoned that if I were the one to date him, I would, first, have to do a complete overhaul. Obviously, his departed wife had always had total control of his wardrobe and was his adviser on the subject. I, fortunately, had no single lady friends at the time and, truthfully, told him I couldn’t help there but gave him the number of the singles club, Cheers. I hope some sweet little lady saw what I saw in him, a dear little man, who dazzled the eye, in need of someone who cared.
Another gentleman who will always remain a sweet, funny memory happened just the other day. My friend Sharon and I had been to a movie and decided to go to Chompies for lunch. No big deal until she asked, “Do you know that man in the booth?” She assumed I probably knew him from working so many years in the Resource Center. Since I wasn’t facing him, I turned to my right and about 20 feet away was a gentleman with a lady throwing me kisses and talking to me from across the dining room. I just shook my head and told her that I had never seen him before. From my peripheral vision I could see that he kept up with this unusual behavior. After a minute or so, he left the lady and came over to our table and continued telling Sharon to give me his compliments. I guess he figured I was hard of hearing, which I am, so I thanked him. He said, “You people probably think all of us New Yorkers are crazy because I compliment you.” I said, “Certainly not, I’ll take a compliment from anyone any time.” He even seamed sober as he walked off leaving the poor lady friend to pay the bill. Was I flattered? ABSOLUTELY!