A Crystal Disaster
Sue Donovan
Growing up, our family finances were limited, but my mother loved beautiful things. Our house was tiny and plainly furnished except for her fancy crystal lamp that had pride of place on a drum table in front of the living room picture window. It was about two and a half feet tall and sported 12 eight-inch prisms hanging from the body just below the lamp shade. When the sun hit those prisms, the whole living room shone in multi-colored splendor!
Both my parents were heavy smokers, so that lamp accumulated a thick yellow coating of crud. Twice a year or so, it was my job to lay out the prisms on a bath towel and gently wash the lamp and each prism with vinegar and water, renewing its shine potential. Very satisfying!
One day, some of my neighborhood friends were fooling around on the way outside and threw something which bumped the table which jiggled the lamp which went crashing down and smashed six of the prisms to smithereens. Talk about your life flashing before your eyes! My mother was so mad, she heaved a full pot of coffee out the kitchen window onto the driveway, breaking the window and tearing out the screen. In spite of the thunderous disaster, the lamp lived to glow again, but with only six prisms to reflect the sunlight, and a somewhat easier job for the crystal cleaner. Grandpa fixed the kitchen window, but the coffee pot was toast.
Who Would Have Thought?
Kris Szlauko
I’ve had a headache and some lightheadedness for a day or two. I feel out-of-sorts. The air quality has not been great, and I’m sure it’s playing havoc with my sinuses.
I’ve been tired for days. I can’t expect anything different after waking up all hours with leg cramps. My back problems cause leg cramps. Maybe, at my next doctor’s appointment, I should have my potassium checked. I don’t think I can eat another banana!
My mouth is dry with the overhead fans in every room. I’ve drunk three cups of coffee and it’s only noon. My eyes are drying out. Eye drops are not cutting it! And I can’t seem to keep enough lotion on my skin. My arms look like crepe paper!
I can’t remember … did I take my pills this morning? I’ll go to the bedroom and check after I sit down for a bit … my heart just skipped a beat!
I checked my blood pressure and it’s a bit low. That can’t be the cause of my issues. Maybe if I just rest in my recliner and wait it out … it will pass.
It’s dinner time! I must have slept for hours! Thank heaven for left-overs. I don’t feel like cooking. I’m so tired and achy cleaning up from dinner has exhausted me.
Okay, Wheel of Fortune is on. I can get my mind off of my aches and pains! I can’t believe I fell asleep again … I missed the end of Wheel of Fortune. Who won? Why am I so tired?
Oh No! I’m cramping again! What the heck! I didn’t move funny or anything! My legs are full of electricity! What’s the deal now my fingers are cramping! I can’t open my hands! When I tried to open my fingers with my other hand, my arm cramped up! I’M BREATHING SO HARD MY DIAPHRAGM IS CRAMPING! IF THIS GETS ANY WORSE, MY HEART IS A MUSCLE, AND IT’S GOING TO CRAMP UP!
FIVE HOURS at the ER, a cardiac work-up, labs and IV fluids, the diagnosis is DEHYDRATION! What an expensive lesson to learn! I don’t know how many times I have been around water the last few days, showers, brushing my teeth, making coffee, dishes, laundry, watering plants, and not a drop of water for me!
Who would have thought? My symptoms were due to NOT DRINKING WATER! There were other symptoms that I ignored! I haven’t used the bathroom very often. My memory was foggy. My fingers stayed flat after pressing them together. All definite signs of dehydration!
Who would’ve thought I could get dehydrated inside my home! Dehydration happens to people working and playing outside in our 100+-degree weather!
I can’t remember the last time I drank a glass of water! My water cup is still sitting on my nightstand next to the pills I forgot to take!
I will have to schedule water break alarms on my phone, until drinking water becomes a habit!
Just an Ordinary Visit to the Eye Doctor
Barb Schwartz
Couple of weeks ago, I went to the eye doctor. It was to be just a simple, ordinary eye exam.
The eye tech asked me all these questions, looked at my eyes, and gave me a very quick vision check. She put letters on the screen that are about the size of a pinhead, and asked me to read them with my right eye. I replied, “There are no letters.” She increased the size—same story, we got to the third size and I could guess a couple of the five letters that were up there. She tried my left eye. Lo and behold I could read the tiny, tiny, tiny little letters that I didn’t even see with my right eye.
Then she said, “I’m going to put some numbing drops in your eyes.” Oh, okay, numbing drops went in. Then she leads me to another room. There were a couple of sophisticated-looking machines. “Please place your chin on the chin rest,” and I did. “Can you see the little windmill inside in the picture?” “Yes, I can,” I replied. “I’m going to take some pictures of your retinas,” she explained. I WAS ORDERED: DO NOT BLINK. Of course, when you’re asked not to blink, the only thing you can think of doing is blinking. I heard the machine click click click click and then she did the other eye. We went back to a different exam room where she put dilation drops in my eyes. After a while, the eye doctor came in. “Wow, it’s been a while since you were here,” she said. “Yes,” I answered, “my insurance changed. I had to go to a different doctor, and now it changed again and I’m back.”
By now I cannot see anything beyond my nose and even that’s blurry. My pupils are approximately the size of dinner plates. And they hurt. She goes on to have me look in every possible direction to check all my peripheral vision. Then she put a headset on and said, “I’m going to look inside your eyes.” Approximately 7,000 volts of light entered my right eye which teared up immediately and I was trying desperately not to blink but that didn’t work. I blinked, she got upset we had to start again. Don’t blink became my secret, quiet mantra.
Exam was finally over! She explained to me that I have a macular degeneration problem, a corneal problem, something called PVD where the gelatinous ball that is attached to the retina is moving away. AND, the killer of all of this, I have wrinkles on my retinas! “Why not?” I thought, I am over 80 and have wrinkles elsewhere. Oh, yes, in addition to all this news, the vision in one of my eyes is terrible!
The tech returned ever so cheerful, and reminded me to come back next year and be sure to put their roll-up sunglasses on my face, then my regular glasses, then my ordinary sunglasses because I MAY find it a bit bright outside. Yah, right. Normal vision didn’t return until late afternoon after this 7:30 a.m. appointment.