I’m at my desk listening to my favorite music and tying up some trout flies for an upcoming trip our club is taking to the San Juan River in southwest New Mexico. My Zen-like attention to this task is interrupted by my wife’s sudden appearance in the den. “Whaddya think?” she asks, pushing the back side of a hand in front of my face and thereby blocking any view I had of the work-in-progress fly. I do a few quick simulations in my head as I consider a response. “Looks like a hand,” I reply, hoping for a quick read, so why not call it Firetruck, Winesap, Bonfire or anything relating to the color? See? this is how they get to you girls, marketing stuff for women through emotional gimmicks rather than anything glare before returning to the fly. “Funny!” she says; “I meant this new nail color; it’s called I’m With Brad! Cute, huh?” Now somewhat interested, I look up and ask, “Why would they name it that? It’s logical and informative.”
My salvo goes unanswered, the wife deftly changing the subject by asking, “What are you tying?” “A fly,” I respond. “No kidding,” she frowns, “What’s it called?” Uh oh. “It’s a Btph Mggi,” I tell her. “A what?” “Um, it’s called a Butt Monkey, okay?” Here it comes. Somehow my wife has yet again maneuvered me into check through either blind luck or devilish calculation. After all these years, I’m still uncertain of which. “What’s this Butt Monkey supposed to be?” she asks. “A minnow,” I say. “So, a fly supposed to be a minnow is called a Butt Monkey?” I grunt acknowledgment. “And the name of this one?” pointing now to another fly on my desk. “That’s a Sofa Pillow,” I mutter in a defeated tone. “And it’s supposed to be what?” “A stonefly,” says I. “This one?” “Purple Haze… mayfly.” “And here?” she asks happily. “Snow Cone… midge.” “Here?” “Zonker. And it’s supposed to look like… OK, I see what you’re doing here but it isn’t the same as… as…” sigh.
Returning sometime later to the scene of battle, the wife asks what I’m tying now. I can only reply, “I’m calling this one I’m With Brad.” If any of this sounds like fun to you, please consider either A) marriage counseling or B) joining our club. Personally, I remain undecided.
If you have any interest in learning more about the Sun Lake Fly Fishing Club, please contact George Abernathy at firstname.lastname@example.org or 480-521-1060.