Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.
During the journey of life, we encounter many roadblocks and detours, and sometimes we cannot find our way to our final destination because of all the distractions. We wonder whether we took the right road. Should we turn to the left or to the right or go straight ahead? Should we stop and start all over? What could we have done differently?
The difficulty we contend with, in some cases, has nothing to do with the journey but rather the ability to understand where it is we want to be. It is like wanting to say goodbye to someone we love who has died. We find it difficult because our mind starts to wander and wonder. No longer will a loved one be there to guide us or love us or share in the many experiences yet to be. This detour in our journey is filled with so many regrets. And the guilt is so prominent.
Unlike the rest of our journey—there is no turning to the left or the right—no starting all over—no time to do things differently. Missed opportunities cannot be reclaimed. Dreams of what could have been or should have been will never be realized. There were words that will haunt us—hurts that will never be mended.
Someone we loved has died. It is such a stark realization. No more smiles or laughter. No more touching or caressing. There is so much of “no more”. Now is not the time to think about all that was missed. Now is the time for memory to replace existence. Now is the time for healing to begin so that the remembrances of our loved one has meaning.
We also recollect those things that have happened during the life of our country. We think about times of turmoil, the time we seemed to have lost our national identity. We just completed the recollection of two hundred fifty years of our country’s existence. The document in which the pronouncements of justice and humility formed the basis of man’s humanity, is now relegated to memory. In this instance it was not someone who died but rather an understanding of our place in the universe and the connection we strive for every day as we search for the immortality of thought.
Perhaps we should remember an idea, or a concept, or a loved one because it will help us understand the journey we are on a little better—the journey that includes loving, laughing, living and memory.
We remember so that the quest for continuity will be realized. We remember a loved one and we remember an idea that has left us—both are our links to the past and both give us faith in the future.
We never forget—that is the real ability to heal, both as individuals and as a country.