Yes, No, or Wait
Recently I read an article in the magazine Real Simple that discussed why we should consider the answer to a question “YES I will, NO I won’t or I would like to WAIT to answer the question.” One must analyze what is important. A person doesn’t want embarrassment or guilt.
Growing up at home many times my dad would tell me, “Please answer your mother YES or NO.” I had to make a quick decision and sometimes it was correct and sometimes wrong. At that time, I didn’t have the authority to say “WAIT!” Agreeing quickly without thinking is not a wise decision. Consequently, when I went away to college it was very difficult to make decisions where the questions were more difficult and the outcome either negative or positive. I felt I was forced to make a quick decision. I had not learned WAIT during those years.
After I was on my own I learned the word WAIT for an answer is not popular. There is a real art to declining. To WAIT gives me time to be true to myself. The word WAIT means an explanation should be given to the inquiry. “I need time to think about it” or “I need to discuss with my husband.” Things are unsettled and the answer is prolonged, but needed.
An answer of NO is hard without hurting someone’s feelings. No matter what, I don’t like to say NO but later may feel relieved I did. I may say, “I cannot at this time,” or “I have another commitment.” This is also the hardest when dealing with family and friends.
To answer YES, I have to be sure or I will have to say, “I would like to WAIT to let you know.” I love to say, “YES, I would really like to.” It is immediate and things are settled!
Fundraisers are also a time I know an answer of YES to my grandchildren but with friends it is tricky. I want to be true to my beliefs.
As I became older I found that I am not a Club Woman and can answer questions accordingly. I also do not like Social Media. I am not on Facebook, Twitter and some other things on the Internet. I love using Google Genealogy, the Internet, and especially I love to text with family and friends. I do have to watch isolation as I get older.
It is a real art answering questions. We don’t want to hurt feelings but love when the answer is YES and can give it with confidence and being true to self.
Ruby Regina Witcraft
A not so good thing is a smack in the face which I have never had intentionally, but many times when a horse mistook me for a fly and creamed my cheek bone with his head. It is also painful to be swatted in the face with a tail, be it horse or even a cow while milking. Thankfully, I will probably never have that experience again as I now live the life of peace and tranquility as a retired, sophisticated lady, and none of my friends have the desire to give me an unexpected smack in the face.
There is, also, living, unexpectedly smack dab in the middle of nowhere. In my experience, that would describe Honda, Texas, to a tee. Being thankful and exhausted from driving all day from our last base, there was the one and only motel in town. Thought I’d stretch my legs while hubby checked in and started to pet a Hugh, old German Shepherd lying by the door. He didn’t get up but wagged his tail as if to say thank you – I love dogs. As I walked away he got up and started to follow me. The problem was that he had a shepherd’s body on wiener dog’s legs which made his belly and other parts drag the ground. Now we are, not only, smack dab in the middle of nowhere but, if the dog was an example, strange goings on amongst the people.
A smack can be a good thing such as a first kiss from your boyfriend whom you have been crushing on, for what seemed, forever. You thought he would never get up the nerve to ask you out let alone kiss you. The kiss thrilled me so that it actually took my breath away. The unexpected sensation, had never happened to me before so I realized that it was really, at least for me, special and hoped that he felt the same way. Apparently it worked for both of us as we were inseparable all through high school and, except for a short break up, into our 20s. We married when he finished four years of college and since he had been commissioned a Second Lieutenant in the Air Force we had the dream wedding that any young girl could wish for. His groomsmen, in dress blue uniforms sent us on our way with crossed swords as we left the church and we had all the bells and whistles that went with a beautiful wedding. That’s what a first, unexpected smack will do for you.
Hurry Up and Wait
It was a dark and rainy night and at 11:00 p.m. all the smoke alarms started to go off and bellow noise that was unbelievably loud.
Fire department was called and it turned out to be minor: The wind had blown the rain into the vent on top of the roof and this moisture had worked its way into the smoke alarm and shorted it out. Firefighter Eric said that he unplugged it and they all stopped ringing. It was important to buy a new alarm the next morning and that would stop the problem.
Fast forward a few months and it rained again – very hard monsoon this time. The room in question developed a water mark on the ceiling. Even the homeowners recognized that as being bad: Roof leaks that mark the ceilings are usually a very, very costly problem.
Roofer was called and they discovered that it was a minor leak and they poured tar over the problem area off the roof. Several more months and the roofer was called again because the water spot on the ceiling was larger than ever. Again, more tar poured over the problem area of the roof.
Now the water spot is larger than ever and one morning at the end of September of last year, the homeowners walked into the room and were faced with a huge puddle of water on the floor and the largest blister on the ceiling that was dripping water. Floor was dried and towels applied to cover it all and a bucket was placed strategically under the offensive leak. A DIFFERENT roofer was called and he determined that the first roofer had not done anything except apply a Band-Aid to the roof. He did go up and removed the tiles that were broken and tried to remove all that tar that had been smeared over the area.
Roof problem taken care of and they could concentrate on the inside where almost half of the ceiling was now water stained. They politely asked that they would like to take care of this in a week or two since they had several leaking roofs to take care of first. No problem.
About a week or two before Christmas, they came back and cut a 12-inch square in the ceiling while telling me that “Usually where it has been soaked and dried more than a couple of times there is usually mold there as well.” Sure enough, they took down this square foot of drywall on the ceiling and it was covered with black mold. Immediately, they covered the hole in the ceiling with plastic (as they had covered all the furniture in the room as well with plastic) and closed the door with the warning that the homeowners should put a towel on the floor under the door to make sure that this offensive mold wouldn’t invade other parts of the house. A week went by and the homeowner asked that it be done, since this was the guest room and they were, indeed, having guests for the weekend coming up. So, the guys came back and treated the mold (they had to wait until it was COMPLETELY dry) and then replaced the dry wall material on the ceiling, taped it, masked it and texturized it. They returned the next day to paint the ceiling.
The room is now back to normal and the five weeks that it took to repair was endless and gives true meaning to the term “hurry up and wait.”
Now the homeowner is waiting for a gullywashing rain to see if it all works and the roof IS secure.