Gary Chalk
We think we know our spouse, right? But do we? This is what I mean…
Many couples say it takes time Living Retired together to finally experience each other’s idiosyncrasies and quirks. Couples can only take so much until one of them snaps, “Remind me why I married you in the first place?” and the other barks back, “I liked it when you went to work every day.”
Be honest. Living Retired with your spouse all day everyday can be challenging. It comes down to the evolution of marriage: guys enjoy their La-Z-Boy, while women are hooked on color-coordinated decorator pillows.
During our working career we developed a polite, professional way dealing with difficult jerks, oops employees. But when we are Living Retired, being polite is not a strategy. My wife Jan and I had some fun kibitzing about this recently.
“Gary, how many times do I have to tell you when you dry the dinner dishes you need to put them back in the cupboards? You have to complete the job.”
“Jan, what are you going to do? Fire me?”
“With that attitude Gary I wouldn’t have hired you in the first place.”
It goes both ways…
“Jan thanks for using the Swiffer on the kitchen floor, but you left it leaning up against the wall. That’s a safety hazard.”
“Gary, if it’s such a big deal, report me to the occupational safety department.”
“Jan, I’d report you to HR. Two warnings and you would be canned!”
“Speaking of cans Gary, that empty soup can has been sitting by the door to the garage for two days waiting for you to take it out to the recycling box.”
Jan and I have been Living Retired long enough that I know right away when she says, “Gary, get whatever toppings you want on the pizza” I know that means no sausage and no hot peppers; I order vegetarian. No matter how you slice it, she won’t fire me. Jan also knows when she says, “Gary, would you like to update the kitchen backsplash?” that I will say, “We’ll see.”
According to marriage therapists men often don’t know when to stop and they end up making things even worse…
“Honey, I’ll put the milk you left out on the kitchen counter back in the refrigerator.”
“Thanks Dear.”
“No problem. This way, it won’t go bad like all the other times you didn’t put it back.”
Here is another example of not shutting up and making things worse. “Dear, don’t worry about picking up the sharp needles you leave on the carpet when you sew—I will start wearing safety boots, so my toes won’t bleed.”
It turns out when you are Living Retired the boss is always right—whoever it is.
Living Retired is written by humor columnist Gary Chalk.