Mark Wenz
Those of us living in retirement communities are inevitably confronted with our own and our friends’ and loved ones’ mortality, which leads us to ponder the mysteries of dying.
We all have views on the subject that are grounded in our spiritual convictions, intuition, and life experience, yet when death occurs to someone we love, sometimes our views are challenged. This happened to me in May of 2023 when my wife suddenly and unexpectedly died. Neither of us knew she was seriously ill; we thought she had muscle trauma from when she had to brake suddenly on a local freeway. Nobody–not even the medical professionals at the emergency room and hospital–knew that she was actually battling sepsis. When I left her for home the night before she passed, it never occurred to me that she would be gone in the morning.
The trauma I felt when I saw her lifeless body was instantaneous, and I experienced overwhelming pangs of guilt and remorse. Why hadn’t I been at the hospital when she passed? How could I ever forgive myself? Soon afterward, I experienced several symptoms of post-traumatic stress, and my belief that she would be taken care of in the afterlife was seriously shaken.
What I felt I needed was a sign that she was okay. I kept praying for one. Without going into detail, over time, I received two of these signs, which did a lot to calm my soul. Grief counseling, friends, prayer, and meditation also helped immensely. My Unity Church community was amazingly supportive. We in Unity believe that we are all manifestations of spirit and that death is simply a transition from one state of being to another, and these beliefs helped me cope with my grief.
About a month after her death, I was drawn to a number of books on near-death experiences (NDEs), and these books also did much to calm my soul. These books gave me valuable insights and also cemented many of my beliefs about the afterlife, reincarnation, and the purpose of life itself.
My readings revealed that between two and three percent of Americans will experience some kind of NDE in which they are declared dead yet miraculously come back to life. People who experience these near-death experiences overwhelmingly describe the state after “dying” to be peaceful, even blissful, and the similarities of their experiences are astonishing. Some of the stories are miraculous, as when Dr. Mary Neal was underwater for over 10 minutes and presumed dead yet came back to life, or when Dr. Eben Alexander had a rare brain infection that in 99.9 percent of cases leads either to death or extreme brain damage, yet he eventually had a full recovery. Miracles happen!
The Unity Church sees death as simply a transition from the “earth school” to a more spiritual realm. There’s no reason to fear it, because the loving spirit of God will be there to comfort and embrace us when we inevitably cross over.