Jacqueline M. Ruffino
Before you or I became a friend, there was you, and there was me. You existed as yourself, and I as myself. Friendship came later.
Somewhere in the vast Universe, you became a person. Before you belonged to a family, before you formed connections, there was simply you. Step back and look in the mirror—see yourself for who you are.
I want to begin this story by defining what it means to be a friend. The dictionary says a friend is “someone who is on your side.” A friend is someone you cherish, someone you confide in, trust, and stand beside through life’s ups and downs. A friend shares your joy and is there in difficult times.
Friendship has many definitions. Before calling someone a friend, think about what it truly means.
Have you ever said, “I can count my true friends on one hand,” or “I have so many friends, I’ve lost count”? Friendships take many forms, but what defines a real and healthy one?
Consider these examples:
1. Your car breaks down on a lonely road, and you can’t reach AAA. Who do you call?
2. A family member is seriously ill and needs support. Who shows up?
3. You receive troubling news from your doctor. Who listens without judgment?
These moments test the strength of friendships. Sometimes, a true friend lives far away, yet you know in your heart they’d drop everything to be by your side if you needed them.
Friendship isn’t just about hardships, though. It’s also about sharing joy—spreading good news, laughing together, and celebrating each other’s happiness. Some people will genuinely rejoice in your success, while others may only listen.
Now, let’s consider other relationships. Acquaintances, colleagues, pals—each word carries a different weight. When and how do you use them? Reflect on the people in your life, those who remain close and those who have drifted away. Some friendships grow stronger, while others fade. And among the acquaintances, there are those who feel lonely, longing for deeper connections.
But before any of these roles—friend, acquaintance, colleague—there was simply you. Before I became a friend, I was just me. Before I became a nurse, a Navy veteran, a professional in many fields, a wife—I was always me.
Now, ask yourself: Who were you before you became a friend? I’ll bet the answer is simple. You were you.